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Sometimes I don’t understand why sex is such a big issue. A taboo. You’re literally putting a piece of your body into someone else. What if you put your foot in a girl’s vagina? Or what if your fingers went into someone’s mouth? Or stuck your ear inside their ass somehow? Yeah, it’s the parts that make the baby, but it’s not that special. Ooh you pop out human being and you make juices that humans are made of. So special. Your stomach contains an acid that would eat through skin and flesh. Your nose contains uncovered nerves that are directly connected to the brain. Blinking one eye needs the work of 200 muscles. Your genitals aren’t so special that putting them in someone else is a naughty thing. In fact, I would rather have a really important and special part of the body inside my vagina instead, like someone’s brain or eyes. That’s a hell of a lot more naughty. I have insomnia.

Reading Homestuck. God help me.
My cat is pregnant and I’m panicking.

She went into a silent heat, so I didn’t know when to seprate her from the boys. She’s about halfway along and I’m really starting to stress because my house isn’t super kitten-friendly. I have a maltipoo who doesn’t know personal space, toddlers running around, and my brother who is the least sensitive to the need of animals. I could always keep her in my room when she needs to nest, but I’m mostly afraid for the whole birthing process. I wasn’t around when my last two cats gave birth, and even then I was a little kid. She’s young (7 months) and she is very small for her age. I’m afraid there will be complications, like she’s too weak to push, or a kitten gets stuck, or she gets an infection, or she doesn’t accept the kittens. To make matters worse, my mother wants her out the house even though she’s already far along. 

Can anyone help me with this?

Using A Mac

Dear Tumblr,

I regret to inform you that I can currently using a computer made by Apple to access your addictive website. As a PC, I am used to being able to scroll through your site without feeling the shame of touching this over-priced piece of crap. However, now that my laptop is broken, I’m forced to use this infernal contraption. Until it is fixed I have to deal with a spinning gay beachball, no right-clicking, a constantly overheating screen, and the guilt that will never be washed away no matter how hard I scrub. No matter how hard I scrub. Though the style is sleak, chic, and modern, and the screen is big as holy hell, it does not make up for the fact that I could literally build a computer that works at least five times better than this for less than half the cost.

So if by some chance you hear in the news that a teenage girl in New Jersey went completely insane and started to burn down Apple stores while swearing obsenities at all the iPads, please pool enough money to pay my bail.



Watching ‘Hannibal Rising’. Getting the biggest girlboner ever.
I wish I were a cat.
  • I’ll sleep all day
  • Jump on high places to watch over my kingdom
  • Get treats for being cute
  • Claw people and not get punished
  • Spazz out and end up a YouTube star
  • Disappear into Narnia for hours as every searches for me
  • Have a huge fanbase
  • Pussies will be rolling on the floor for my spiky cat dick
  • I’m cute even when morbidly obese
  • Everything is a toy
  • The internet worships me