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My cat is pregnant and I’m panicking.

She went into a silent heat, so I didn’t know when to seprate her from the boys. She’s about halfway along and I’m really starting to stress because my house isn’t super kitten-friendly. I have a maltipoo who doesn’t know personal space, toddlers running around, and my brother who is the least sensitive to the need of animals. I could always keep her in my room when she needs to nest, but I’m mostly afraid for the whole birthing process. I wasn’t around when my last two cats gave birth, and even then I was a little kid. She’s young (7 months) and she is very small for her age. I’m afraid there will be complications, like she’s too weak to push, or a kitten gets stuck, or she gets an infection, or she doesn’t accept the kittens. To make matters worse, my mother wants her out the house even though she’s already far along. 

Can anyone help me with this?

Getting 50 followers has been the highlight of this month.

I’ve been stressed to no end. My hair has been falling out. My teeth are chipping. My body aches all the damn time. Sleeping has been such a struggle. I’ve had nightmares nearly every night for weeks. My pet rat died. My rabbit is so stressed from being in a cage he’s not eating. My mother’s mood swings have been getting worse and she lets out her rage on me, threatening to throw out or kill my cats if I don’t find them all homes soon. I tried job searching today for the first time in forever, only to have my girlfriend freak out because I was an hour away from her. Had a major panic attack in my friend’s bathroom, which ended in me holding a fistful of hair and shallow cuts on my hand. The voices in my head are getting worse. My episodes are longer. My fits have been more violent. I’m losing memory of days and can’t stare at a mirror too long without wanting to break it. I go on eating binges then starve myself. I use a razor to peel the skin from the bottom of my feet so no one sees it but I can still feel the pain as I walk. My girlfriend is emotionally abusive and all my friends know. I’m no better when I yell at her back.

Some days I sleep in bed from midnight to sunset. Those days I feel like staying in bed until I get bedsores. I want help. I need help. I turn to my friends but they all say the same things. I want to go back to therapy. I want to go back into the psych ward for a month. I miss taking my antidepressants and antipsychotics and mood stabilizers. I miss writing without stabbing at my notebook and thinking I’m a failure. I miss drawing on my walls and finishing without breaking down because I’m a horrible artist. I miss singing at the top of my lungs even though I’m tone deaf. I miss not having a headache.

So much more happened that I don’t feel comfortable sharing online, or to anyone for that matter. This month-or actually the past few months-have been one nonstop blur of pain and misery. There were some brief enjoyable moments, and I do cherish those, but my memory if going and I don’t know when they happened or if they really did. 

All I can say is that even though all I do is reblog cool shit, and even though I’m not as awesome and cool as everyone who follows me or the people I follow, I just want you to know that finally having 50 followers puts a smile on my face. A really fucking big smile.

I wish I were a cat.
  • I’ll sleep all day
  • Jump on high places to watch over my kingdom
  • Get treats for being cute
  • Claw people and not get punished
  • Spazz out and end up a YouTube star
  • Disappear into Narnia for hours as every searches for me
  • Have a huge fanbase
  • Pussies will be rolling on the floor for my spiky cat dick
  • I’m cute even when morbidly obese
  • Everything is a toy
  • The internet worships me