me: i don't want to have kids
every adult within 100 mile radius: nonseNSE!! you'll end up having them in a few years!!! kids!!! mANY KIDS!! wonderful things you will love them! can''t not have kids?!!¿ chILDREN!
We’re so bad at sex and then we wonder why women aren’t like, really aggressive about sex. We think it’s cause they don’t have as much desire as we do. That’s how stupid men are, that we think ‘they’re just weird, women are like fucked up in the head cause they don’t wanna just fuck all the time. If I was a women, I’d just fuck everybody. Why don’t they wanna fuck all the time? I do.’ Of course you do, cause when you fuck, you get to fuck a woman! When she fucks, she has to fuck a guy! Wildly different experiences. For a man, 100% of the time, it’s the greatest thing that ever happened in his entire life. For a woman, about 40% of the time, when she’s being fucked by a guy, she’s thinking ‘I’ll get over this in a week. It’s not the worst thing. I’m not gonna cry this time.’
-Oh, Louis CK, advocate for the female orgasm (via masturbationdestination)
Friendzone doesn’t exist. It truly doesn’t. It’s simply a made up construct to make assholes receive pity from other assholes (male or female or both or neither) who ended up as friends with someone. If you were ever friendzoned, I want you to go to that person and tell them you hate being their friend. Tell them that being their friend, companion, person of trust, playmate, bloodless relative, and second family is the worst thing ever. Tell them that every day is agony as you laugh and joke and share secrets and enjoy each other’s company because they don’t want a relationship. Tell them the bond you share that surpasses the one with another, even their family or partner, makes you sick because you can’t accept that perhaps they are not attracted to you in such a manner and it is perfectly acceptable for them not to be. Tell them the only reason you ever do nice things is, not because you’re a friend and genuinely care, but because you want to date them and/or get into their pants. Say all that and see if you’re even worthy of being a friend at all.
Hit with depression
Watching Doctor Who helps every single time. Nothing like watching someone who lived 900 years, traveled through time and space, fought monsters great and small, give his life up for a single human.